Will Bowen Audio

JumpStart - “I like that, and…”

Here’s a helpful little suggestion...

When you’re discussing something with someone and trying to reach a consensus, after the person makes their suggestions respond with, “I like that and…“

Many times, our natural response is to skip over areas of agreement and jump on what we don’t like, with “But..“, which negates their perspective.

Instead, compliment the other person PLUS use the bridge-building word “and” rather than the distance-creating word “but."

“I like that, and…” are magic words that will make your communications much smoother and they’ve built more bridges than the Army Corps of Engineers!

JumpStart - No Criticism

The Complaint Fee challenge is more than just to go 21 days in a row without complaining, it's also to not criticize or gossip during for that length of time.

Lately, I’ve been working on the demon “criticism" because I don’t seem to have it licked.

It seems that what I consider “helpful suggestions“ can sound like criticism to others and I want to change that.

Who knew, right?

The literal definition of the word “criticism” is “to express an unfavorable opinion”

Wow! Can you imagine going 21 days in a row without expressing a single unfavorable opinion?

Well, I’m working to do just that and today I’m once again back on Day 1.

(“No shame in Day 1”)

And, I’ve learned a lot to help you become less critical starting right now.

JumpStart - Emotional Manipulation

In my years of struggling to better communicate with other people, I’ve witnessed a common ploy used by many couples, parents, even friends during a flight.

It’s called “emotional manipulation" and it often sounds like this, “You’re right — I’m no good! Everything is my fault! If only you were with someone as perfect as you, everything would be fine. I’m 100% the problem!”

By overly diminishing one’s self in an argument, we both force the other person to stop attacking us AND we get them to start defending u-s — pretty slick move, eh?

It’s pretty brilliant but it’s a tactic that keeps us and our relationships stuck.

Notice how often you (and other people around you) resort to emotional manipulation and you’ll see that it’s a guaranteed to limit your personal control and success.

To You; Love God Tuesday - Depersonalizing Problems

You’re not going to believe this but while I was reading today’s To You; Love God entry to write this, I accidentally knocked over my 32 OZ igloo mug SOAKING my computer keyboard with water.

And, when you watch today’s video you’ll know why this is HILARIOUS because it’s all about not taking unfortunate events personally.

The key is to remember Thomas Ashley Forrand’s words, “This is happening, but it’s not happens to me.”

See how holding that one perspective can totally transform your day starting now.

JumpStart - Sincere Apologies

The other day I received an email from someone who had been irritated by one of my blog posts.

 

I read her concerns carefully and crafted a response that began, “I’m sorry you were upset by what I said.“

 

After I sent the email, I realized that I had not really apologized.

 

My apology was actually a “passive aggressive apology.“

 

Whenever we say “I’m sorry you...“ we are not really apologizing.

 

We're putting the issue back on the other person rather than assuming responsibility, which is implied by a genuine apology.

 

Notice how often you use the passive aggressive apology and strive to be more genuine when you apologize.

JumpStart- Stuff Happens

When I deliver a speech, I like to blow up the myth of positive thinking.

“Most people believe Positive Thinking means ‘Everything will always turn our great every time,’ right?” I say.

“Well, that’s not positive thinking -- that’s STUPID thinking because every single day of your life SOMETHING goes wrong.”

When we embrace the inescapable truth that despite our best efforts stuff goes wrong frequently, we free ourselves to deal with what is happening rather than wasting time lamenting over what is NOT happening.

It’s all perspective and you get to choose yours.

Choose well starting today.

JumpStart- Explore

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a jungle explorer when I grew up.

I imagined myself stomping along in boots, sporting a pith helmet, wearing shorts and a vest both festooned with pockets to hold my maps.

Forget the jungle!

As an adult, I now see that the least explored thing in the world is the other side of a contentious issue.

People will develop an opinion first, then do research to support that opinion, and that’s about as far as it goes.

Our points of view should be secure enough for us to check out the other side -- especially when it comes to those close to us.

If we see things a certain way (note the word “certain”) and our spouse sees them another, it can be hard as heck to get ourselves to explore their side.

And yet, for both growth and harmony that’s exactly what we need to do.

Grab your flashlight, your magnifying glass, and your map and let’s explore the unchartered territory of another person's point of view -- LOL!

JumpStart- Your Playlist

In the wonderful biography “Steve Jobs,” the author tells of a marketing scheme used to sell the original Ipods.

Although not the first mp3 player, the Ipod had the wheel and that tactile feel made people fall in love with it and load their Ipods with thousands of songs.

At Apple HQ during that time, people began to notice that you can tell a lot about a person based on their playlist and the marketing idea of sharing celebrities Ipod playlists was born.

So, what’s on your playlist?

Do you have a playlist that will BOOST YOU UP and KEEP YOU GOING?

Everyone needs a playlist like that and in this message I share my playlist with you.

To You Love God Tuesday- Believe

As you probably know, I began a daily devotional email more than ten years ago that I pretended was from God.

Blasphemous? Maybe. But I wanted readers to truly be open and not ascribe the words to any human person.

I sent out those emails for more than 7 years until we compiled the best 365 into To You; Love God, which is available in hardback.

Each week during 2019, I’m dedicating these Tuesday JumpStarts to whatever the To You; Love God reading is that day and today is a big one.

Shakespeare told us, “Nothing is either good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.”

It is our beliefs that shape our lives and our worlds so, today, begin to change your beliefs to create what you desire.

JumpStart- Roar

A few years ago, one of my publishers, Brilliance Audio, brought me to Michigan in February to record my latest book “Happy This Year.”

The car service picked me up at the airport and took me straight to the studio where we had an intense 3 days of recording planned.

Somehow, between leaving home, flying to Detroit and arriving at the studio, I GOT SICK!

I couldn’t speak without croaking like a frog.

The publisher refused to record me (who wants an audiobook recorded by a sick person?) and I spent 2 days in my hotel room guzzling TheraFlu and listening to “Roar” by Katy Perry.

In this video, I share how the story turned out (big surprise!) as well as more from my personal playlist to inspire the lion within you!