Will Bowen Audio
JumpStart - Positive Thinking

JumpStart - Positive Thinking

April 14, 2019

Today, let’s delve deeper into “positive thinking.“

The word “positive“ literally means “that which is present.“

“Negative“ means “that which is absent."

Negative thinking is focused on what’s missing whereas positive thinking is focused on what's present.

When you’re thinking positively, you’re not being Pollyanish--you’re actually being real.

That is, you’re dealing with what is real and present rather than what may be ideal; but is missing.

Positive thinking works because it inspires you to proactivity, which yields BIG results!

JumpStart - Complaining Properly

JumpStart - Complaining Properly

April 14, 2019

As you probably know, I’m not anti-complaining.

Rather, I’m pro healthy communication, which means speaking directly and only to the person who can resolve a problem.

If you’re going to send a complaint to someone, the ultimate goal is to get that person to help resolve your issue.

So, here's some tips to making that more likely happen:

  • Don’t make assumptions
  • Speak about yourself and how things have impacted you personally
  • Don’t kill a gnat with a bazooka
  • Be brief

In this post, I expand on each of these ideas and the best way to implement each of them.

JumpStart - Your I’s

JumpStart - Your I’s

April 14, 2019

Take a look at a typical email and notice how many sentences begin with the first-person pronoun, “I.”

This is NOT effective communication.

You, and everyone else, look at the world through the eyes of “what’s important to me?"

Therefore, using the word “you“ catches people's attention and engages them.

People tolerate the word “I” but they zone in on “you."

So, here’s my tip: *** Treat your emails like potatoes -- cut out the “I’s” before you serve them. ***

You’ll find this a simple communication hack that makes you seem more interesting and engaging.

And, people will begin to respond more favorably to you!

To You; Love God Tuesday - Prayer(?)

To You; Love God Tuesday - Prayer(?)

April 14, 2019

George Carlin raised a pretty solid question when he asked why people should pray to a divine being that already has an unchangeable divine plan in place.

In other words, isn’t prayer just commenting on the movie unfolding in front of you?

Not really.

Many great theologians have said that prayer may or may not change God. But, one thing’s for certain: prayer changes the one who prays.

However you talk to a higher power, the very act of talking to God changes your way of thinking and acting.

JumpStart - Changing the world

JumpStart - Changing the world

April 14, 2019

It’s amazing how many people try to change other people‘s behaviors by making them wrong.

We don’t get others to change through harassment, we get them to change by making them WANT the change.

To change others, become a role model and not a rule enforcer.

Remember the old saying, “A person changed against their will is of the same opinion still.”

Attacking other’s choices only makes them cling more tightly to those choices.

Practice acceptance and demonstrate possibilities; then, people those around you cannot help but change right before your eyes.

JumpStart - “I like that, and…”

JumpStart - “I like that, and…”

April 8, 2019

Here’s a helpful little suggestion...

When you’re discussing something with someone and trying to reach a consensus, after the person makes their suggestions respond with, “I like that and…“

Many times, our natural response is to skip over areas of agreement and jump on what we don’t like, with “But..“, which negates their perspective.

Instead, compliment the other person PLUS use the bridge-building word “and” rather than the distance-creating word “but."

“I like that, and…” are magic words that will make your communications much smoother and they’ve built more bridges than the Army Corps of Engineers!

JumpStart - No Criticism

JumpStart - No Criticism

April 8, 2019

The Complaint Fee challenge is more than just to go 21 days in a row without complaining, it's also to not criticize or gossip during for that length of time.

Lately, I’ve been working on the demon “criticism" because I don’t seem to have it licked.

It seems that what I consider “helpful suggestions“ can sound like criticism to others and I want to change that.

Who knew, right?

The literal definition of the word “criticism” is “to express an unfavorable opinion”

Wow! Can you imagine going 21 days in a row without expressing a single unfavorable opinion?

Well, I’m working to do just that and today I’m once again back on Day 1.

(“No shame in Day 1”)

And, I’ve learned a lot to help you become less critical starting right now.

JumpStart - Emotional Manipulation

JumpStart - Emotional Manipulation

April 8, 2019

In my years of struggling to better communicate with other people, I’ve witnessed a common ploy used by many couples, parents, even friends during a flight.

It’s called “emotional manipulation" and it often sounds like this, “You’re right — I’m no good! Everything is my fault! If only you were with someone as perfect as you, everything would be fine. I’m 100% the problem!”

By overly diminishing one’s self in an argument, we both force the other person to stop attacking us AND we get them to start defending u-s — pretty slick move, eh?

It’s pretty brilliant but it’s a tactic that keeps us and our relationships stuck.

Notice how often you (and other people around you) resort to emotional manipulation and you’ll see that it’s a guaranteed to limit your personal control and success.

To You; Love God Tuesday - Depersonalizing Problems

To You; Love God Tuesday - Depersonalizing Problems

April 8, 2019

You’re not going to believe this but while I was reading today’s To You; Love God entry to write this, I accidentally knocked over my 32 OZ igloo mug SOAKING my computer keyboard with water.

And, when you watch today’s video you’ll know why this is HILARIOUS because it’s all about not taking unfortunate events personally.

The key is to remember Thomas Ashley Forrand’s words, “This is happening, but it’s not happens to me.”

See how holding that one perspective can totally transform your day starting now.

JumpStart - Sincere Apologies

JumpStart - Sincere Apologies

April 7, 2019

The other day I received an email from someone who had been irritated by one of my blog posts.

 

I read her concerns carefully and crafted a response that began, “I’m sorry you were upset by what I said.“

 

After I sent the email, I realized that I had not really apologized.

 

My apology was actually a “passive aggressive apology.“

 

Whenever we say “I’m sorry you...“ we are not really apologizing.

 

We're putting the issue back on the other person rather than assuming responsibility, which is implied by a genuine apology.

 

Notice how often you use the passive aggressive apology and strive to be more genuine when you apologize.